Here's a screenshot of the SDU's website, which I thought to look up while thinking of something to write for interpersonal communication. It's mainly a networking/dating site with personal bios and notices for upcoming events. Not much to see or do if you're not a member, so I just took a few amusing minutes to read the Success Stories column, which had entries written by married couples who had met each other through the SDU.
Brief background info on the Social Development Unit: It was established in 1984 by the government as a means to promote marriage amongst single graduates, who, apparently at that time, were facing a low marriage rate due to certain factors such as their careers, certain cultural beliefs and such. Since then, it has merged with the Social Development Service, the SDU equivalent for non-graduates (one wonders why the government had to make that distinction in the first place) to form the SDU-SDS, in an effort to expand their database of singles.
The concept of matchmaking is not new, but it certainly has evolved. In the past, where arranged marriages and other cultural norms made marriage a formal and rigid institution, the opinions of the two parties hardly figured into the whole equation. Now, in today's significantly more individualistic society where emphasis is greatly placed on the self, it is the normal mindset that a relationship be all about the two people involved. Thus, the focus of matchmaking has changed to one based highly on interpersonal compatibility and communication.
Nowadays, matchmaking and online dating merely increases the opportunity for compatible single people to meet, but from there on, it is up to the individuals and how they interact. One of the SDU's primary activities is to hold regular social events, such as horseback riding classes and cruises and such, which gives strangers a reason to interact. The beauty of these events is that everyone there is single and is looking for a potential partner, so there is a reduced awkwardness when approaching a person. Chances are that people attending these events are at least mildly interested in the activity, and they are able to draw connections of similarity from there. The concept of similarity states that we tend to form relationships with those we perceive as similar to us, so these events would serve as a catalyst for potential relationships. Online matchmaking uses the concept of attitudinal similarity to put people together according to their attributes and beliefs, and occasionally people are paired by how they complement each other.
However, there are a great deal of people that disagree with the whole online matchmaking deal. They say that pairing people merely by their similarities is flawed, and that the supposed rationality of the matchmaking argument is disproven by the weak success rates. These people believe that a true connection can only be established by physical interpersonal communication; both parties have to communicate face to face in order for sparks to fly. They also disagree with the concept of speed dating, something highly endorsed by certain matchmaking groups, saying that it is impossible to ascertain if someone is compatible with oneself within the short amount of time given. People would then have to resort to nonverbal cues and attributes to figure out if that person is physically attractive, and base their judgement on that, and this practice can be very inaccurate or misleading.
So: is online matchmaking really ineffective, and the successes thus far mere coincidences? Or is there hard science behind it?
RSS Feed (xml)
